2 weeks

Not sure why, but I woke up this morning and decided today was the day to let little Gray cry it out. Before I get into that, lets back track.

Everyone warns you that the first two weeks are the hardest, but honestly, I did not expect it to be near h-e-double hockey sticks. WOW. Adam brought up a very good point to me yesterday. We, mostly I, spent so much time obsessing about the labor, birth and recovery that I didnt spend any time thinking about what to do when he gets here. I wonder if I had spent more time reading books, would I have been some what more prepared. I also wonder, if men were put in the position of giving birth, recovering and then also having to take care of a newborn, would they be able to handle it?

Adam and I like to joke that Grayson is high maintenance. In the two weeks that we've been home, we've been to the doctor's office 5 times with 2 more visits this week. That first week was the hardest. He cried all the time. I wasnt able to breastfeed and he was losing weight quick and was borderline on having to bring him in to the hospital for jaundice. I was also in a lot of pain and sleep deprived. I am a believer that our bodies are capable of breastfeeding and so when my milk supply had not come in, I felt like I couldnt provide for my son. It was the worst feeling in the world. Thank goodness for the lactation consultants at Presby Dallas. They have a free hotline you can call. I realized I was stressed and not eating which contributed to the problem.


The start of week 2 wasnt much better. I was still learning how to breastfeed and Grayson was still not sleeping at night. By the middle of the week, he decided he wanted to eat every hour and a half. By the end of week 2, we got the breastfeeding down, he was sleeping at night waking up every 2.5 hrs for feeding, but not sleeping at all during the day which is why I am letting him cry it out now for naptime during the day.

Crying it out probably hurts me more than him. I'm worried he wont feel loved. I let him cry it out in our bed this morning while I laid beside him curled up in fetal position wanting to cry it out with him. I made sure he was well fed, clean diaper, no fever and all swaddled up before I let him just cry. It HURTS. Nothing hurts more than hearing your baby cry. But better now, than later, right? I cant always be there to pick him up and comfort him. Crossing my fingers and hoping this is the right thing for us. I decided this week was the week to let him cry because I now know he is fully fed and there is nothing wrong with him since we just went to the doctor.




This guy absolutely hates to be swaddled which is the exact opposite of everything I read and was taught in the baby basics class. He likes to sleep like this:


The only problem with letting him sleep like this is he will startle himself awake. I love this little guy so much!

Birth Story and Updates

Be warned....this will be a long post. I want to remember all the tiny little details!

I took the week before Grayson's due date off from work. But the little man wasnt ready to make an appearance yet. He wasnt ready the following week either. The doctor finally set an induction date for July 9, 2011. I sat around for two weeks doing nothing. By that point, it was so hard for me to get around. It was so hot outside too! Looking back, I am so grateful for those two weeks of nothing. The anticipation was killing me. I couldnt decide what was better, for him to come any time or to keep waiting for that Saturday. I'm glad he waited though because my doctor was the one to deliver the little man.

My last doctor's appointment was Thursday, the 7th. I was only dilated .5cm, same as the week before. At the appointment, we got everything set up for the induction and they said the hospital would be calling me on Friday to let me know what time to come in. We sat around all day Friday and finally was told to come in at 10pm that night. On the way to the hospital, we stopped by my parents to drop off Chloe. The drive from my parents house to the hospital was quiet. All kinds of thoughts were going through my head. I didnt know what to expect. I was scared yet excited at the same time. I couldnt believe it was happening! We checked in at Labor and Delivery at Presby Dallas and was taken upstairs. I was not prepared for what was going to happen next. It was the absolute worst pain I have ever experienced, worse than birth, worse than recovery. The nurse had to insert cervidil to help dilate my cervix. Between the every two hour nurse visits and my own head racing with all kinds of thoughts, I only got an hour and a half of sleep even with the ambien I was given. I remember I started to feel a little back pain, but just chalked it up to the uncomfortable hospital bed.

At 6:30 am on Saturday, I was taken downstairs to the actual labor and delivery room. At that time, they started the pitocin on me. Only then did I realize that the back pain I felt earlier in the morning were actual contractions. I had thought contractions were going to feel like sharp, intense cramps in your stomach. Mine were in my back. They felt like the back pain you get when you are about to start your period, only they get more intense. We sat around and watched the Today show, Adam read a little and I listened to music. I had not asked for the epidural yet, but then the doctor said I might want to get it now before she broke my water. The epidural did not hurt at all. I remember watching, Real Housewives of New Jersey and hearing Teresa scream bloody murder. When the doctor broke my water, it just felt like I had peed all over myself. Then we waited some more. Finally when I was at a 7, the nurse flipped me to my side. Apparently that worked, because shortly there after, I was pressing the nurses button telling them I felt a lot of pressure and the need to push. The nurse came and checked on me and I was at a 10! Around 1 pm, we began pushing. Adam was by my side cheering me on! Shortly after I began pushing, the doctor also came in and joined us. I loved my l&d nurse and the fact that my doctor was there for most of the pushing. It was so helpful! In between contractions, we would talk about lake houses, the doctor moving, dogs, the nurses kids, etc etc. I would have to break up the conversations to let them know I was ready to push. It was strange, but definitely helped pass time. After about an 1 hour-ish of pushing, the doctor got her gear on and four other nurses joined us. At 2:22 pm, Grayson finally made his appearance! I cant even describe with words the emotions I was feeling. After the doctor and all the nurses left, we got to spend the next hour, just the three of us. It was the best feeling in the world.




After they took Grayson to get cleaned, reality set in. I was in pain. The epidural actually started to wear off a little on my right side before Grayson came. I didnt want to move. I was so hungry, but I didnt have an appetite. My family came and visited and their excitement was just priceless. Later that night, the nurse finally gave me an ultimatum....pee within the next two hours or we would use a catheter. I decided it was time to drink everything in sight. The rest of the hospital stay was a blur. I was still in pain and nurses were coming in every couple of hours to check in. I tried to get as much sleep as possible, but I was so in awe of the little guy. By Monday, we were ready to get out of there. 3 nights in a hospital was enough.

Updates will have to be posted later. The little guy demands a lot of attention!

40 weeks 4 days

We woke up this morning thinking this was going to be the last time we wake up in this house with just the two of us. It was a weird feeling. Didnt think I would have to wait this long to meet our little one! I think waiting is probably the hardest part. Right now, we're waiting for the hospital to call to let us know what time to head in tonight. I've been waiting at home for 2 weeks. Excited, scared, anxious.....I'm feeling all kinds of emotions. We're ready. We're ready to meet the little one. We're ready to start this next chapter. One last belly pic:

Tonight we head to the hospital. Hopefully tomorrow we will have a baby. Praying that everything goes smoothly.