Things I Wish I Would Have Known

There are no less than ten parenting books lying around the house. Some I have read three or four times already, some I havent even touched. We also took a baby basics class at the hospital and I took a breastfeeding class during my hospital stay. I wish someone had mentioned some of these things:

I wish someone would have told me about the "baby blues". Not quite postpartum depression, but I had such a hard time dealing with the first couple of weeks. I cried everyday for about 3 weeks. I cried because he cried...ALL.THE.TIME. I cried because I was stressed. I cried because I missed life before baby. I cried because I thought I would love being a mommy right away, but I didnt. I cried because I loved him so much. I cried because Adam and I were getting into these little disagreements. I cried because I read a sad story, watched a sad tv show. I just cried at everything. I cried because I felt bad about all the things I just mentioned. It took me awhile to realize that it was okay to cry. At my six week check up, my doctor told me about 50% of women experience the baby blues.

Everyone says boys are easier than girls, but I think they mean when they are older. As one of the nurses put it, "boys are greedier than girls" when its comes to food. I had heard stories about parents having to wake their girls to eat. That was not the case with Grayson. He wanted to eat all the time.

Everyone also tells you hard it is the first two weeks, but I wished they would have emphasized the word HARD.

As natural as breastfeeding may be, I wish someone would have told me it may not come to you naturally. From no supply to over supply, rapid let down, engorgement, I cant tell you how many times I called the lactation consultants including one late night call during after hours. Almost 7 weeks later and I'm still not confident about breastfeeding.

I wish while they were teaching about swaddling they would have mentioned that your baby may not like to be swaddled. Here I am thinking all babies like to be swaddled and I have the one child that doesnt. He fought the swaddle from the beginning.

Finally, I wish someone would show me how to grocery shop with a car seat. Not sure this guy was too happy about his surroundings:
A few more newborn pics:

Milestones

In all the baby books and websites, they talk about milestones. What about mommy milestones?
I had my 6 week postpartum checkup today and everything looked good. Another mommy milestone, I nursed for the first time in public, with a cover of course. I should have practiced at home first because I was all over the place with the cover and I'm pretty sure Grayson didnt get a nice, full feeding. Pretty embarrassing, since another girl came and sat down and nursed her son in half the time it took me. Oh, and in between sides, the little one decided to poop all over himself and me. One last milestone, I realized I need to let go of all the parenting book advice I've been reading and googling and just focus on Grayson. Not all babies are going to go by the books and I just need to do what I think is best for him.

Enough about me, lets get to the cutie. Here is Grayson doing some tummy time. This was taken about 1 min before he realized how hard it was and started wailing:

Tummy time is the perfect transition into a nap because it wears him out and after some crying, he just passes out. I've been letting him CIO for naps, but Monday night, was the first night Adam and I actually let him cry it out for bedtime and boy, it was the hardest thing ever. In the past, we've let him cry and then eventually we'd break down and go pick him up. We decided to let him CIO for night time because the paci game was getting old. He would spit it out constantly and start crying so we'd have to go in about every 2 mins to stick that thing back in his mouth. So Monday night, he cried for about 1.5 hrs. Not the entire time. He'd cry about 20 mins, then slept some, then woke up and cried 20 more mins and then slept some more. We'd tried to go in and soothe him without picking him up, but nothing worked. The next night, I told Adam I couldnt take it anymore and we set a timer for 15 mins. Before that 15 mins was up, he was out. But he did wake up once and cried for about 10 mins and then he was out for good. The third night, we put him down and not a peep. We watched the video monitor like a hawk. He was awake for about an hour just looking around and finally fell asleep. Last night, I fed him, bathed him and before I could finish our bedtime story, he started wailing. I finished the story (with him crying in the background), stuck the paci in his mouth and left. I watched him on the monitor, just waiting for him to cry. He did spit out the paci, but no tears. Then he passed out. I am hoping this is a trend.

I go back and forth on the crying it out. Some books I've read said letting them CIO can emotionally damage them when they are this young and other books say its ok. Thats why I've stopped reading all books. I figure the younger they are, the less they will remember. When he is crying, I always ask Adam, "do you think he is going to remember this?". Sometimes, I feel like the worst mom in the entire world for letting him cry bloody murder. So when he is awake, I shower him with lots and lots of love. I think I am attached to him more than he is attached to me.

Here he is waking up. He's wrapped in what they call the "miracle blanket". Supposedly, they sleep longer. I'm still waiting for that miracle. Look at those cheeks and that double chin!!!!

Happy 1 month Grayson!

I cant believe it's already been a month! This little guy is becoming a chunky monkey. At a month he is 22 inches and 10.5 lbs! We went to the doctor yesterday and for the first time, he didnt cry! Since we've been doing the eat/play/sleep routine and added the paci, we've cut the crying down quite a bit. He still cries when I put him on his tummy, but then falls asleep soundly. He also cries during his "witching"/fussy hour which is usually around 8pm EVERY SINGLE DAY. This is the only time we'll pick him up and hold him and put him to sleep. He is eating about every 3-4 hours. He still doesnt like to be swaddled and he still doesnt look the least bit Asian. I am hoping those traits come in soon.

This little guy melts my heart.

Here is a picture from his newborn (2 weeks) photo shoot:



Can you believe how tiny he was????

3 weeks

We're a little past three weeks, but I didnt have time to blog. I thought we were on some kind of semi-schedule, but then Grayson decided to hit a growth spurt. I nearly lost my mind! How did I know it was a growth spurt? Google. What did we do before Google? I google everything about babies now.....why does my baby hate swaddling, gas, constipation,spitting up, growth spurts, sleeping, etc. So back to the growth spurt. It was like we were back at the first week again. He wanted to eat every 1.5 hr-2 hr. He takes about 40-45 min to nurse depending on how awake he is, plus diaper change, some awake time, it left me about 45 mins to myself....if I was that lucky. This happened all through the night too. His growth spurt lasted about 5 days.


This little guy is becoming a chunky monkey. The crying it out is working out well....when he sleeps on his tummy which is a BIG NO-NO in baby world. I'm not sure what to do about it. He loves sleeping on his tummy and hates swaddling. I dont know what to do. I'm caught between wanting to sleep and do stuff around the house, but I dont end up getting much sleep or anything done because I'm constantly checking on him.

Sleeps like an angel.