Milestones

In all the baby books and websites, they talk about milestones. What about mommy milestones?
I had my 6 week postpartum checkup today and everything looked good. Another mommy milestone, I nursed for the first time in public, with a cover of course. I should have practiced at home first because I was all over the place with the cover and I'm pretty sure Grayson didnt get a nice, full feeding. Pretty embarrassing, since another girl came and sat down and nursed her son in half the time it took me. Oh, and in between sides, the little one decided to poop all over himself and me. One last milestone, I realized I need to let go of all the parenting book advice I've been reading and googling and just focus on Grayson. Not all babies are going to go by the books and I just need to do what I think is best for him.

Enough about me, lets get to the cutie. Here is Grayson doing some tummy time. This was taken about 1 min before he realized how hard it was and started wailing:

Tummy time is the perfect transition into a nap because it wears him out and after some crying, he just passes out. I've been letting him CIO for naps, but Monday night, was the first night Adam and I actually let him cry it out for bedtime and boy, it was the hardest thing ever. In the past, we've let him cry and then eventually we'd break down and go pick him up. We decided to let him CIO for night time because the paci game was getting old. He would spit it out constantly and start crying so we'd have to go in about every 2 mins to stick that thing back in his mouth. So Monday night, he cried for about 1.5 hrs. Not the entire time. He'd cry about 20 mins, then slept some, then woke up and cried 20 more mins and then slept some more. We'd tried to go in and soothe him without picking him up, but nothing worked. The next night, I told Adam I couldnt take it anymore and we set a timer for 15 mins. Before that 15 mins was up, he was out. But he did wake up once and cried for about 10 mins and then he was out for good. The third night, we put him down and not a peep. We watched the video monitor like a hawk. He was awake for about an hour just looking around and finally fell asleep. Last night, I fed him, bathed him and before I could finish our bedtime story, he started wailing. I finished the story (with him crying in the background), stuck the paci in his mouth and left. I watched him on the monitor, just waiting for him to cry. He did spit out the paci, but no tears. Then he passed out. I am hoping this is a trend.

I go back and forth on the crying it out. Some books I've read said letting them CIO can emotionally damage them when they are this young and other books say its ok. Thats why I've stopped reading all books. I figure the younger they are, the less they will remember. When he is crying, I always ask Adam, "do you think he is going to remember this?". Sometimes, I feel like the worst mom in the entire world for letting him cry bloody murder. So when he is awake, I shower him with lots and lots of love. I think I am attached to him more than he is attached to me.

Here he is waking up. He's wrapped in what they call the "miracle blanket". Supposedly, they sleep longer. I'm still waiting for that miracle. Look at those cheeks and that double chin!!!!