Big Week

Chloe Update first: So Chloe is still with us. We were originally planning to drop Chloe off with Adam's parents during the weekend. I think if we had dropped her off the following day, I would not have changed my mind, but because we had to wait a few days, I just couldn't do it. Too many tears. Chloe has learned to walk away when Grayson gets near her now.

Grayson update:

I'm surprised our neighbors haven't called CPS on me. Between the breathing treatments, the snot sucking and teething pains, we've pretty much had tears in this household 24/7. I called the nurse on Thursday the 16th and just said Grayson was coughing and hacking and they wanted us to come in of course. Doctor said it was a cold and nothing he could do. By the weekend, Grayson was wheezing and we had to take him to an after hours pediatrician where we had our first breathing treatment. Thank goodness Adam was with me.

Grayson cried and screamed for the entire 7 minutes. I felt so bad I almost cried. They sent us home with an inhaler instead. By Tuesday, Grayson wasn't getting any better so back to the doctor we went. Turns out his cold turned into a double ear infection and bronchiolitis. Two steroid shots, another breathing treatment and lots of tears later, we were sent home with our very own nebulizer and some antibiotics. It took Grayson two days (8 treatments) and Baby Einstein videos for him to finally not cry while we do our treatments.

And to make matters worse, he cut his two top front teeth. I am 100% sure about one, and 95% sure about the other and I swear the two on either side of those are also getting ready to come in. I cant be certain because he wont let me look at his teeth.

Grayson also perfected pulling up to a stand. So exciting until I realized I now had to teach him how to sit back down. After more tears, we spent an entire morning practicing getting back down. Little man decided he needed to practice some more on his own and ended up falling asleep while he was sitting:



I had no idea that was even possible. I can have all Grayson's toys spread out on the floor, but he will crawl over to the coffee table, pull up and start banging on the table for his fun.




Now we have to work on CIO again. Because he was sick, I ended up rocking him to sleep for every nap and bedtime. Now that he's better, I am trying to get him to fall asleep on his own. Its tough. The cries are so loud! After 5 mins, I go in and pick him up and his clings to me and nestles his head in my neck. How am I suppose to let him cry when he does that?!?!?! I guess that is why we are also dealing with separation anxiety.

We were sick over Christmas and I felt like it took weeks for us to finally get back to a normal routine and just as we did, we got sick again. Does this cycle ever end?? We're going back to the doctor on Tuesday to make sure everything is looking good and I am hoping he's got some advice for me! I will say, I don't mind the extra snuggle time because I don't get to hold Grayson as much as I use to. He'd much rather be on the floor moving than confined in his mommy's arms.

7 months

Little G is 7 months!





A couple of pics from his 7 month pictures. He looks so grown up especially in the picture in the left. He is trying to pull up there. Here is what Gray is doing:

Trying to pull to a stand
Napping a little better
He now stays awake anywhere from 2.5 hrs to 3 depending on his naps
If he takes two 2 hr naps then he doesn't need a 3rd nap. If not then he usually has a cat nap.
We are almost on all formula.
Eating and eating and more eating ( solids)
Still army crawling
Talking- lots or random noises no repetition and nothing like dada or baba
Starting to pull up on his own and he has sat up on his own once!

And we are sick again :(


Love this little guy so much!


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My heart is breaking

My heart is breaking tonight because Adam and I had to make a tough decision.





We have decided we have to give Chloe up. Tonight while Grayson and Chloe were playing she snapped at him. It all happened so quickly. I was getting ready to take a picture because it was so cute and all of a sudden, Chloe was up, had growled, barked and snapped at his face.

I feel like we are abandoning our first child. It is breaking my heart.

I keep wondering what Chloe is going to think when she realizes that she won't see Adam or me or Grayson. I know she may have snapped but she loves little g. She was licking his face right before it happened.

Don't think I will be getting any sleep tonight.

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DEFEATED

I feel defeated. Like nothing I do is right. I dont know what it is, but Grayson has been SUPER fussy and needy this week. Is it teething? Could be, but how do you really know? Aren't they always teething? IS it the "I want my mommy phase"? Maybe, because when I put him in the play pen and walk away, he cries. I have to sneak out when he turns the other way so I can go to the bathroom real quick before he notices. Why are you waking up so darn early? Do I need to drop the last nap? We kind of tried that a few weeks ago and it didnt really work out. Do we need to try again? Is it because you are learning you cant always have it your way. Maybe. This last part leaves me in tears too. When I tell Grayson "no" or "we dont do that" in my regular voice, he laughs at me. He thinks its funny. But when I tell Grayson "no" or "we dont do that" in a deep raised voice, he cries. Then I cry. I feel like THE worse person in the world when I do that. I know its parenting, but really? At 6 months? I know I have to start now because he is starting to go for things that could hurt him. He also cries when I take away his toys because its time to eat. I must be strong. Sometimes I think would life be easier if I was working and he was in "school". It's always greener on the other side, right? But then he'll smile so big or laugh so hard, and I know that I wouldnt want to be anywhere else, but right here on the floor chasing after him. And here I am getting teary eyed again. My mom tells me everyday that babies are unpredictable and constantly changing. She tells me to just go with the flow. She's been telling me that since day 1 and here we are almost 7 months later and I still havent figured out how to just "go with the flow". I'm getting better. Usually when we have days of fussiness, I go through all the baby books I have or google "why is my baby crying". I havent opened any baby books yet, although I did order the second babywise and its sitting on our coffee table. I dont know how my mom did it. They came to the US when I was 1 and didnt know english or have any money. Then my sister came along and she didnt have help. She had to work 7 days a week, then come home to take care of me and my sister. I need to channel her strength. I love Grayson more than anything. Grayson and Adam make my heart full, but sometimes I just want to curl up in the corner and hide. Maybe now would be the time to go schedule that massage, mani and pedi......