2 weeks

Not sure why, but I woke up this morning and decided today was the day to let little Gray cry it out. Before I get into that, lets back track.

Everyone warns you that the first two weeks are the hardest, but honestly, I did not expect it to be near h-e-double hockey sticks. WOW. Adam brought up a very good point to me yesterday. We, mostly I, spent so much time obsessing about the labor, birth and recovery that I didnt spend any time thinking about what to do when he gets here. I wonder if I had spent more time reading books, would I have been some what more prepared. I also wonder, if men were put in the position of giving birth, recovering and then also having to take care of a newborn, would they be able to handle it?

Adam and I like to joke that Grayson is high maintenance. In the two weeks that we've been home, we've been to the doctor's office 5 times with 2 more visits this week. That first week was the hardest. He cried all the time. I wasnt able to breastfeed and he was losing weight quick and was borderline on having to bring him in to the hospital for jaundice. I was also in a lot of pain and sleep deprived. I am a believer that our bodies are capable of breastfeeding and so when my milk supply had not come in, I felt like I couldnt provide for my son. It was the worst feeling in the world. Thank goodness for the lactation consultants at Presby Dallas. They have a free hotline you can call. I realized I was stressed and not eating which contributed to the problem.


The start of week 2 wasnt much better. I was still learning how to breastfeed and Grayson was still not sleeping at night. By the middle of the week, he decided he wanted to eat every hour and a half. By the end of week 2, we got the breastfeeding down, he was sleeping at night waking up every 2.5 hrs for feeding, but not sleeping at all during the day which is why I am letting him cry it out now for naptime during the day.

Crying it out probably hurts me more than him. I'm worried he wont feel loved. I let him cry it out in our bed this morning while I laid beside him curled up in fetal position wanting to cry it out with him. I made sure he was well fed, clean diaper, no fever and all swaddled up before I let him just cry. It HURTS. Nothing hurts more than hearing your baby cry. But better now, than later, right? I cant always be there to pick him up and comfort him. Crossing my fingers and hoping this is the right thing for us. I decided this week was the week to let him cry because I now know he is fully fed and there is nothing wrong with him since we just went to the doctor.




This guy absolutely hates to be swaddled which is the exact opposite of everything I read and was taught in the baby basics class. He likes to sleep like this:


The only problem with letting him sleep like this is he will startle himself awake. I love this little guy so much!

Birth Story and Updates

Be warned....this will be a long post. I want to remember all the tiny little details!

I took the week before Grayson's due date off from work. But the little man wasnt ready to make an appearance yet. He wasnt ready the following week either. The doctor finally set an induction date for July 9, 2011. I sat around for two weeks doing nothing. By that point, it was so hard for me to get around. It was so hot outside too! Looking back, I am so grateful for those two weeks of nothing. The anticipation was killing me. I couldnt decide what was better, for him to come any time or to keep waiting for that Saturday. I'm glad he waited though because my doctor was the one to deliver the little man.

My last doctor's appointment was Thursday, the 7th. I was only dilated .5cm, same as the week before. At the appointment, we got everything set up for the induction and they said the hospital would be calling me on Friday to let me know what time to come in. We sat around all day Friday and finally was told to come in at 10pm that night. On the way to the hospital, we stopped by my parents to drop off Chloe. The drive from my parents house to the hospital was quiet. All kinds of thoughts were going through my head. I didnt know what to expect. I was scared yet excited at the same time. I couldnt believe it was happening! We checked in at Labor and Delivery at Presby Dallas and was taken upstairs. I was not prepared for what was going to happen next. It was the absolute worst pain I have ever experienced, worse than birth, worse than recovery. The nurse had to insert cervidil to help dilate my cervix. Between the every two hour nurse visits and my own head racing with all kinds of thoughts, I only got an hour and a half of sleep even with the ambien I was given. I remember I started to feel a little back pain, but just chalked it up to the uncomfortable hospital bed.

At 6:30 am on Saturday, I was taken downstairs to the actual labor and delivery room. At that time, they started the pitocin on me. Only then did I realize that the back pain I felt earlier in the morning were actual contractions. I had thought contractions were going to feel like sharp, intense cramps in your stomach. Mine were in my back. They felt like the back pain you get when you are about to start your period, only they get more intense. We sat around and watched the Today show, Adam read a little and I listened to music. I had not asked for the epidural yet, but then the doctor said I might want to get it now before she broke my water. The epidural did not hurt at all. I remember watching, Real Housewives of New Jersey and hearing Teresa scream bloody murder. When the doctor broke my water, it just felt like I had peed all over myself. Then we waited some more. Finally when I was at a 7, the nurse flipped me to my side. Apparently that worked, because shortly there after, I was pressing the nurses button telling them I felt a lot of pressure and the need to push. The nurse came and checked on me and I was at a 10! Around 1 pm, we began pushing. Adam was by my side cheering me on! Shortly after I began pushing, the doctor also came in and joined us. I loved my l&d nurse and the fact that my doctor was there for most of the pushing. It was so helpful! In between contractions, we would talk about lake houses, the doctor moving, dogs, the nurses kids, etc etc. I would have to break up the conversations to let them know I was ready to push. It was strange, but definitely helped pass time. After about an 1 hour-ish of pushing, the doctor got her gear on and four other nurses joined us. At 2:22 pm, Grayson finally made his appearance! I cant even describe with words the emotions I was feeling. After the doctor and all the nurses left, we got to spend the next hour, just the three of us. It was the best feeling in the world.




After they took Grayson to get cleaned, reality set in. I was in pain. The epidural actually started to wear off a little on my right side before Grayson came. I didnt want to move. I was so hungry, but I didnt have an appetite. My family came and visited and their excitement was just priceless. Later that night, the nurse finally gave me an ultimatum....pee within the next two hours or we would use a catheter. I decided it was time to drink everything in sight. The rest of the hospital stay was a blur. I was still in pain and nurses were coming in every couple of hours to check in. I tried to get as much sleep as possible, but I was so in awe of the little guy. By Monday, we were ready to get out of there. 3 nights in a hospital was enough.

Updates will have to be posted later. The little guy demands a lot of attention!

40 weeks 4 days

We woke up this morning thinking this was going to be the last time we wake up in this house with just the two of us. It was a weird feeling. Didnt think I would have to wait this long to meet our little one! I think waiting is probably the hardest part. Right now, we're waiting for the hospital to call to let us know what time to head in tonight. I've been waiting at home for 2 weeks. Excited, scared, anxious.....I'm feeling all kinds of emotions. We're ready. We're ready to meet the little one. We're ready to start this next chapter. One last belly pic:

Tonight we head to the hospital. Hopefully tomorrow we will have a baby. Praying that everything goes smoothly.

And so we wait....

39 weeks and counting....
I look like I am about to pop! We went to the doctor's yesterday and everything is looking good. The doctor mentioned getting induced if Baby P doesnt make an appearance on his own. I like the idea for two reasons: (1) its a set appointment and (2) my doctor will deliver Baby P instead of whoever is on call from the practice. So even though I cant wait to meet Baby P, we keep telling him to just wait until the following weekend.

Since I'm not working, I'm trying to find things to fill my days up, but I know I should just be taking it easy. Any day now, our lives will change forever and there will be someone else calling the shots around this household. I keep telling myself to just relax and take it easy. Besides, there's not much you can do when its been 100 degrees outside. I hate Texas heat.

37 weeks and an emotional mess

Here I am at 37 weeks:

I think I am ready for him to be here. Everything is just so uncomfortable these days. Getting up from a chair, switching from left to right side when I sleep. You should see how many pillows are on our bed.....6 plus one couch pillow to give my legs a little elevation. Did I mention how hot it was outside???? Geez, I feel bad for all the women delivering in July and

August. I am also exhausted. I took about a 3 hr nap Sunday, a 2 hour nap Monday and a hour nap when I got home from work yesterday.

We took a baby basics class week. Thats Adam learning how

to burp the baby. I'm pretty sure we've both forgotten everything we learned already. The class was just way to long on a weeknight.

I've been a little bit of an emotional mess these days. I hate being emotional. I hate crying. i dont think I've been crazy hormonal throughout the pregnancy...maybe just the last few weeks. I think it started when Adam and I were at this place called, Torchy's Tacos. I had been thinking about something and brought it up to Adam and started crying at the restaurant. A couple of weeks ago at my friends wedding, I started to cry when I saw the little tots walking down the aisle. This past week, was just crazy. I cry when I'm walking to the bathroom, when I'm watching tv, its a mess! Sunday night, a couple from the church hosted a mini parenting session and I cant tell you how many times I had to bite my tongue and gulp down water to prevent the tears from flowing. One thing they went over was that it was okay to be sad about how your marriage was going to be different now. I've been feeling guilty for awhile for being sad that it wasnt just going to be Adam and I anymore. I thought I was being selfish for feeling that way. Good to know that I'm not the only one feeling that way.

Cant wait to add the little one into the picture!!!! ♥

35 weeks

I went to the doctor's office for my checkup today. Everything is looking good and I've been upgraded now to weekly doctor office visits. I am measuring full term. I cant believe it! Baby P is going to be here soon!!!!! I'm ready to meet him, but I'm also not ready for the labor and recovery part! I cant believe this miracle that has been growing inside of me is going to be here in a few weeks!!!!! Even though I've been carrying Baby P for 35 weeks, its still so hard for me to believe that there is a little one inside of me. It really is a miracle that we've been blessed with.





Summer is basically here. It's so dang hot. I am miserable! My feet are so swollen and anytime I go somewhere thats not a nice 68 degrees, I am sweating. How disgusting is that? Just a few more weeks of back aches, swollen feet and fingers, sweating, running to the bathroom every 10 mins and feeling like the fattest person in the world!

We got me a mommy car! I wish I hadnt fought Adam about getting a car a few months back. Getting in and out of an SUV is SO much easier! I have so much more room! The only downside is the miles per gallon that I am getting. That is going to take some getting use too!

Looking at my calendar for June stresses me out. We have 3 baby classes, my mom's birthday, my dad's birthday, father's day, a shower, crazy work schedule the last two weeks of June, last minute baby things....all while knowing Baby P could decide to make his debut at any time!

Panic Attack

A couple weekends ago, we went out to eat with our neighbors who also have a tiny little tot. They showed me how their car sit fit in their nice big 4 door sedan and I quickly realized I better order the car seat to see if it will fit in my car. Not quite sure this is what you would call a comfortable fit:We installed it Saturday and immediately started car shopping that afternoon.

I've also been searching for some bedding that I like for the past couple of months. I finally found some today that I liked, but they are out of stock everywhere!!! They are expecting to get them back in stock in June. I hope I can get it in time! I get why people get started early. My goal is to have everything I might need for the first month purchased by this week.

Here are some pictures of Baby P at 31.5 weeks:
Sonogram doctor said Baby P was measuring big (4 lbs 10 ounces), but my doctor, who just uses measuring tape, said I was measuring normal and that sonograms tend to overestimate. Not sure how measuring tape is more reliable than a sonogram, but thats just how it is. The sonogram doctor said, "I just want you to be aware that you could be giving birth to a big baby." Great. I hope my doctor is right and that they were overestimating!