8 and 9 months

Good thing I'm not the sentimental type because I forgot all about his 8 month postThis child is never still. I dont think there was much of a change between months 6 and 7. Here he is 9 months:
A couple of things he's learned recently:

-Getting real good at bye-bye. Before, he would wave bye bye randomly especially after you would feed him a bite of food. So I thought he was signing for milk. Now, he'll wave bye-bye when you say "bye bye"...sometimes.
-Started cruising! He'll hold on to the coffee table and walk around
-We're doing a mix of a military crawl and crawling on all fours. He's so fast at military crawling, I dont think he'll ever switch to being on all fours.
-'Ai Ai' - Translating from Chinese, its 'Love Love'. When you say this, Grayson will lean his head on you....sometimes. So sweet. Really makes you melt.
-We're doing a lot of finger foods which sometimes drives this OCD mom crazy. This kid is messy :) Good thing we have Chloe around to clean up
-Naps- UGH! Naps are no good. Who can blame him though with all the crazy construction going on around. At first, we tried going over to my parents for naps, but he didnt do well in the pack n play. Seeing how there is one more empty lot directly in front of his room and a few more on our street, I'm doing the tough love CIO. He's got to learn how to sleep through all of this noise. We have white noise playing in his room and it literally sounds like a tornado is coming through. How do babies in NY sleep?
-He started moving his head like Stevie Wonder. I dont know if this is a dance move or he's discovered a new muscle. We were so embarrassed when we asked the doctor about it yesterday. He assured us there was nothing wrong though.

I feel like he's not a little baby anymore. He's so curious and its so fun to watch him explore the world around him.

weight

Pre-baby, I struggled with weight for the longest time before finally just accepting my body for what it was. I thought in order to be pretty I had to be the typical size 0 Asian. In reality, my body was just not made that way. I don't have a speedy metabolism and I LOVE LOVE FOOD. I'm tall, big boned and I've got a big bootay that I sometimes feel could rival Kim Kardashian. I probably struggled with feeling good about my body throughout most of college and probably into my late 20s. I think the 2 times I was the skinniest was at my wedding and right before I got pregnant with Grayson. I have no idea what my weight was because ironically, I didnt care about numbers at that time and never stepped on a scale. I just remember those were the only two times people commented about my weight.

I thought putting on weight while I was pregnant would be the best thing in the world. I mean, at what other point in my life would I have an excuse as to why I was getting fat. I was wrong. It was great at first...until the numbers just kept climbing....20lbs, 30lbs, 40lbs. I dont even remember how many weeks I was at when I had passed the "average healthy pregnancy weight gain".

They were discussing Jessica Simpson's weight gain on the Today show yesterday and it really hit me. I think we gained about the same amount. Although I dont know exactly how much weight I gained, I think its around 65lbs. I know the number was well over 200 only cause I accidentally saw on the scale. My doctor never commented on my weight. She said as long as everything was ok, then I could stop worrying. At some point, I told the nurses to just please stop saying my weight outloud and to cover up the numbers. It was the other doctors and nurses I had to see that would say, "Do you know how much weight you've gained?" Do you know how that makes a pregnant girl feel????? Hormones.

Everyone kept saying, "Oh the weight will come off cause you're breastfeeding." Not true here. I felt like I was eating all the time while I was breastfeeding. I dont think I've ever felt worse about myself. I absolutely hated looking at myself in the mirror everyday. It didnt help that I had nothing to wear. I went from a size 4 (before baby) to a size 10 (after baby). I cant even believe I've written all the numbers out. It almost feels freeing. I'm not going to lie, knowing that I could stop eating so much did help me make my decision to quit breastfeeding. I've got to be both physically and mentally healthy to take care of Grayson, right?

So here we are, Grayson is about to turn 9 months and I have 8 lbs to lose. I've been stuck at 8lbs for a few weeks now. I'm able to fit into my old jeans, but it aint pretty. I can fit into some old tops and dresses. I'm finally starting to feel better about myself. Better, not good. There are times when I look in the mirror and feel disgusted, but better is an improvement. I am writing it all out so I can remind myself what I am working towards when I want to take a bite into that chocolate cupcake. Sure there are times to indulge, but I need to remind myself I dont need to stuff my face in order to enjoy it.

A letter to the home builders

**just a note to mention i typically dont cuss, but i feel like my head is about to explode
***would this be categorized under first world problems?

Dear Home Builder in my neighborhood,

Can you please shut the 'ef' up? I understand we live in a new community and cant avoid the construction, but could you have timed it a little better? I walk to the back of my house, I hear banging, I walk to the front of the house, I hear banging. I feel like I cant live in my home anymore. I am surrounded by constant banging and shouting. You are working on three houses behind us and you just started on one across from us, right by my baby's room. My 8 month old baby.

Did you know that babies need to nap during the day? Did you know they cant nap when there is constant loud noise around them? Do you know what happens to babies that dont nap? They cry!! They are cranky. Cranky baby makes for a cranky mom. I am about to vomit due to motion sickness from swaying my son back and forth and he still wont nap. Every time his eyes are about to shut, "BOOM!" and it startles the sh*t out of him.

Have I mentioned that I still havent forgiven you for starting on the house right next door when we brought our newborn son home? That lot sat empty for months with a SOLD sign. MONTHS. EMPTY. And you decided the best time to start building would be when the couple in the house next door was bringing home a new baby for the very first time. As if trying to figure out a baby wasnt stressful enough.

Lets also mention the flat tires we've had. THREE. Thanks to your construction workers who dont pick up the nails in the alley. If I'm with my husband who has eagle eyes, he'll stop and pick them up. And how about the constant blocking of the alley on BOTH sides. I know its you, cause you're the only home builder left in our neighborhood. I cant afford to keep paying for new tires. How do you expect me to get into the house? Oh, go around the front and carry all my sh*t up the steps while carrying a 20lb baby? Why dont you try that?

I'm running out of ideas. I have tried sounds machines, swaying, different rooms and nothing has worked. I suggest we work on a compromise because I'm about to lose my 'effin' mind.

Best Regards,
Susan

Big Week

Chloe Update first: So Chloe is still with us. We were originally planning to drop Chloe off with Adam's parents during the weekend. I think if we had dropped her off the following day, I would not have changed my mind, but because we had to wait a few days, I just couldn't do it. Too many tears. Chloe has learned to walk away when Grayson gets near her now.

Grayson update:

I'm surprised our neighbors haven't called CPS on me. Between the breathing treatments, the snot sucking and teething pains, we've pretty much had tears in this household 24/7. I called the nurse on Thursday the 16th and just said Grayson was coughing and hacking and they wanted us to come in of course. Doctor said it was a cold and nothing he could do. By the weekend, Grayson was wheezing and we had to take him to an after hours pediatrician where we had our first breathing treatment. Thank goodness Adam was with me.

Grayson cried and screamed for the entire 7 minutes. I felt so bad I almost cried. They sent us home with an inhaler instead. By Tuesday, Grayson wasn't getting any better so back to the doctor we went. Turns out his cold turned into a double ear infection and bronchiolitis. Two steroid shots, another breathing treatment and lots of tears later, we were sent home with our very own nebulizer and some antibiotics. It took Grayson two days (8 treatments) and Baby Einstein videos for him to finally not cry while we do our treatments.

And to make matters worse, he cut his two top front teeth. I am 100% sure about one, and 95% sure about the other and I swear the two on either side of those are also getting ready to come in. I cant be certain because he wont let me look at his teeth.

Grayson also perfected pulling up to a stand. So exciting until I realized I now had to teach him how to sit back down. After more tears, we spent an entire morning practicing getting back down. Little man decided he needed to practice some more on his own and ended up falling asleep while he was sitting:



I had no idea that was even possible. I can have all Grayson's toys spread out on the floor, but he will crawl over to the coffee table, pull up and start banging on the table for his fun.




Now we have to work on CIO again. Because he was sick, I ended up rocking him to sleep for every nap and bedtime. Now that he's better, I am trying to get him to fall asleep on his own. Its tough. The cries are so loud! After 5 mins, I go in and pick him up and his clings to me and nestles his head in my neck. How am I suppose to let him cry when he does that?!?!?! I guess that is why we are also dealing with separation anxiety.

We were sick over Christmas and I felt like it took weeks for us to finally get back to a normal routine and just as we did, we got sick again. Does this cycle ever end?? We're going back to the doctor on Tuesday to make sure everything is looking good and I am hoping he's got some advice for me! I will say, I don't mind the extra snuggle time because I don't get to hold Grayson as much as I use to. He'd much rather be on the floor moving than confined in his mommy's arms.

7 months

Little G is 7 months!





A couple of pics from his 7 month pictures. He looks so grown up especially in the picture in the left. He is trying to pull up there. Here is what Gray is doing:

Trying to pull to a stand
Napping a little better
He now stays awake anywhere from 2.5 hrs to 3 depending on his naps
If he takes two 2 hr naps then he doesn't need a 3rd nap. If not then he usually has a cat nap.
We are almost on all formula.
Eating and eating and more eating ( solids)
Still army crawling
Talking- lots or random noises no repetition and nothing like dada or baba
Starting to pull up on his own and he has sat up on his own once!

And we are sick again :(


Love this little guy so much!


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My heart is breaking

My heart is breaking tonight because Adam and I had to make a tough decision.





We have decided we have to give Chloe up. Tonight while Grayson and Chloe were playing she snapped at him. It all happened so quickly. I was getting ready to take a picture because it was so cute and all of a sudden, Chloe was up, had growled, barked and snapped at his face.

I feel like we are abandoning our first child. It is breaking my heart.

I keep wondering what Chloe is going to think when she realizes that she won't see Adam or me or Grayson. I know she may have snapped but she loves little g. She was licking his face right before it happened.

Don't think I will be getting any sleep tonight.

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DEFEATED

I feel defeated. Like nothing I do is right. I dont know what it is, but Grayson has been SUPER fussy and needy this week. Is it teething? Could be, but how do you really know? Aren't they always teething? IS it the "I want my mommy phase"? Maybe, because when I put him in the play pen and walk away, he cries. I have to sneak out when he turns the other way so I can go to the bathroom real quick before he notices. Why are you waking up so darn early? Do I need to drop the last nap? We kind of tried that a few weeks ago and it didnt really work out. Do we need to try again? Is it because you are learning you cant always have it your way. Maybe. This last part leaves me in tears too. When I tell Grayson "no" or "we dont do that" in my regular voice, he laughs at me. He thinks its funny. But when I tell Grayson "no" or "we dont do that" in a deep raised voice, he cries. Then I cry. I feel like THE worse person in the world when I do that. I know its parenting, but really? At 6 months? I know I have to start now because he is starting to go for things that could hurt him. He also cries when I take away his toys because its time to eat. I must be strong. Sometimes I think would life be easier if I was working and he was in "school". It's always greener on the other side, right? But then he'll smile so big or laugh so hard, and I know that I wouldnt want to be anywhere else, but right here on the floor chasing after him. And here I am getting teary eyed again. My mom tells me everyday that babies are unpredictable and constantly changing. She tells me to just go with the flow. She's been telling me that since day 1 and here we are almost 7 months later and I still havent figured out how to just "go with the flow". I'm getting better. Usually when we have days of fussiness, I go through all the baby books I have or google "why is my baby crying". I havent opened any baby books yet, although I did order the second babywise and its sitting on our coffee table. I dont know how my mom did it. They came to the US when I was 1 and didnt know english or have any money. Then my sister came along and she didnt have help. She had to work 7 days a week, then come home to take care of me and my sister. I need to channel her strength. I love Grayson more than anything. Grayson and Adam make my heart full, but sometimes I just want to curl up in the corner and hide. Maybe now would be the time to go schedule that massage, mani and pedi......

Grayson 6 months

December and January have been kind of crazy. Grayson got his bottom two teeth. The first one broke through on December 14 with a second one breaking through the following week. Then we celebrated Grayson's first Christmas with an ear infection. Poor little guy was so congested, he couldnt breathe through his nose. That was an exhausting 3 weeks. He didnt nap and wasnt really eating because he couldnt breathe. There was lots and lots of crying. One of the best purchases I have made so far is this:

You stick the tube right outside of the nostril and suck out the snot. BEST INVENTION EVER. The little bulbs they give you at the hospital are worthless. When Grayson got sick, we all got sick. After his cold cleared up, I got hit with the stomach virus. Thankfully, we are all happy and healthy now.

At 6 months, Grayson does not sit still. Try having him sit in your lap and reading to him and you'll find it impossible. He either wants to climb all over you or eat the book. I tried taking a picture of him with his lion friend and they all came out blurry cause he doesnt stay still.



We started formula and he loves his solids. He loves pears, apples, bananas, avocados, peas, sweet potatoes, butternut squash, oatmeal, fish and congee (a Chinese soupy rice). He dislikes carrots and chicken. We'll revisit those again soon, but right now I do not have the patience to try to feed those to him again.

We decided to take Grayson to the park for some pictures. Once again, most of them came out blurry because he is constantly moving.

First time in a swing:
First time down the slide:



He is pooping regularly, but hates diaper changes. Try changing a poopy diaper with legs and arms all over the place. You have to be prepared.

Sometime during the week he turned 6 months, he learned how to army crawl. That 100% is the reason why he doesnt stay still:

When we were taking pictures, he kept going after the lens cap. His favorite toys now are Chloe, Chloe's bones, house slippers and door stoppers.

His little (more like BIG) personality is shining through. He is very determined/stubborn. Wont stop until he gets what he wants. I need to start distinguishing his "I am really in pain" cry versus " I am crying because you wont give me what I want". He loves to play and laugh. It's so fun watching him interact with other babies too.

I feel liberated.

Ahhhhh.......

That's me on my way to feeling liberated. I was hit with the stomach virus about two weeks ago. I couldn't hold down water for two days and I couldn't eat for five. Needless to say my milk supply greatly decreased.

I have been debating for weeks what I wanted to do about breastfeeding. I was torn. I know it's the best for him, but I was starting to resent it. It. Not him. I haven't been nursing him for a few months now. Only pumping. So imagine, just sitting there for 25 mins attached to a machine with no place to go...4 times a day, sometimes 6 or 7 if I was trying to increase my supply.

After I recovered from the stomach virus, I spent three days pumping 6 times a day for 25 mins each. After being unsuccessful, I decided it was time to just go ahead and wean to formula. Now I only pump 3 times a day for 10 mins each. SO HAPPY! I gave breastfeeding a go for 6 months when I was ready to quit back at 1 month.

I dont know why society makes us feel so bad about not breastfeeding. We just have to do whats right for us and not judge others on their decision.

Working on some 6 month Grayson pics and will post more soon!


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5 months!

How can G be 5 months already?!?! My sister just got back her wedding pictures and we talked about how much he has changed. That was just a month and a half ago! He looked like a little baby then.
Now he's a little man:


Grayson is a drooling fool. I change his clothes at least 3 times a day. He is also rolling around like crazy. He's not very good at rolling from Point A to Point B, but he is constantly rolling from tummy to back or back to tummy. He doesnt stay still.

Getting ready to flip:I think he is trying to crawl, but I'm not entirely sure. I feel like its a little bit too soon. I am constantly finding him in this position rocking back and forth:



Getting him down for a nap is still a challenge, but at least he naps. We just moved to a 4 hr schedule and I hope it continues that way for at least a few more days. Then I'm sure he'll throw in a fussy day because of teething or something else. He also gets solids twice a day. We've tried avocados, bananas, sweet potatoes, butternut squash, oatmeal and rice cereal. This kid just wants to eat and eat. No wonder he is so big! Sometimes I wonder if I dont limit his food, will he push the spoon away on his own?

He is also starting to learn how to sit:

So excited for Christmas. I may or may not have gone a little overboard buying him some clothes ;)

19 and 20 weeks

I am going to try my best to blog about Grayson every week so if there is a next baby I will kind of know what to expect. The last two weeks have been a little stressful. Grayson's a pretty happy baby. He doesnt get fussy until he is overtired or hungry like all babies do. He's also been sleeping pretty well since he was 2 months old. At two months he would sleep 8 hours and then around 3 months, he started sleeping 11 hours a night. All that has changed. The last two weeks, he's woken up a couple of times in the middle of the night. He also has started waking up around 5:30 am. The only thing that I can think of that is making him wake up earlier is he started taking longer naps. He takes about two- 2 hr naps and 2-45 min naps if we're at home. He use to never sleep past 30 mins. Grayson has also been rolling over. First, he learned tummy to back and then back to tummy. For some reason, he decided yesterday he was going to start rolling from tummy to back when I put him in his crib. He cant sleep on his back. He wants to play with his feet and grab at his shirt. He'll do that until he is overtired and then scream and cry. He did that for every nap and bedtime yesterday. We had to let him cry it out for an hour last night. I hope this only last a couple of days.

Here is a picture of Grayson at two months on his tummy with his blue superman shirt:

Here he is in the same shirt at 4 and a half months:
Cant believe how different he looks!

Here is he cheering on the Ags on Thanksgiving day:
First taste of banana:
Grayson's thighs are so big they get stuck in the bumbo.

Four months!

Can't believe Grayson is 4 months! I know I say that every month. Time is flying. I didn't even realize Thanksgiving is next week.



At four months, Grayson is weighing in at 15 lbs 13 ozs and 25 inches. He is what you call a healthy baby :)

The pediatrician gave us the go ahead for solids. We started out with avocado and rice cereal. He is still trying to get the hang of eating from a spoon.


Most of it ends up on him. Speaking of pediatrician. We switched and I am so happy. At the old doctor I always felt nervous, uncomfortable and stupid for asking so many questions. Our new doctor plays with Grayson and spends so much time making sure we understand everything and have all our questions answered. Thank goodness!





He loves playing with his feet!

Goodbye October!

This is going to be a long one. I wanted to get a post in before October was over because this time last year our lives were so different. So what if its the very last day of October.

October 2010

Last October, we still had the yogurt store and we were in the process of selling it. I remember going in the mornings and feeling sick and not wanting to eat. At one point, I remember my aunt telling me I had lost weight. At that time, I thought it was nerves. Nervous that the sale of the store would not go through.

Our prayers were answered and the sale went through. God had a bigger plan for us. Right after we signed all the papers, I found out I was pregnant. I took three pregnancy tests just to make sure. I remember how nervous I was just calling the doctor to make an appointment. The first appointment wasnt for another month....Dec 1! I couldnt believe they were going to make me wait that long.

This time last year, my sister just got engaged. Her then boyfriend proposed in Central Park. I was so happy for her, but begged and pleaded with her to have her wedding in 2012. As of last Saturday, she became a married woman and I cried pretty much the entire time we were at the church.

October 2011

Grayson is almost 4 months! He loves to kick his legs and move his arms. He loves to talk and has found his high pitch squeal and boy does he love to squeal. It was cute at first, but when you hear it in a cry, it can be annoying. He has rolled over from tummy to back, but not the other way. He tries, but keeps getting distracted with his hands. His hands. I can never keep his hands out of his mouth which drives this OCD mom crazy. I'm thinking germs, germs, germs. Slowly, but surely, I am learning how to let go of my OCD-ness. I have to. We have a dog and Grayson will become more and more mobile. He also loves to grab his feet. We are still working on napping and pooping. Apparently, he doesnt like to nap or poop. 12 days has been the longest beating out 11 days of no poop. I have been reassured that this is perfectly fine, but at his next check up, I will ask again. He also likes to grab things (toys, burp cloths, blankets) and stick them in his mouth.

Grayson grabbing his feet



Gig em! Look at those rolls!
My sister got married on the 22nd! I dont have pictures yet. Didnt have free hands. My cousin flew in and brought her daughter. Grayson and Savannah are 10 days apart. Both babies are half Chinese and half American.
All bundled up for the cold. His first time in jeans!Grayson and his friend, Larkin. They are just a couple of days apart!

Next project....update the look of this blog.

Grayson's world

Lots of things going on in Grayson's little world. He's decided to be a chronic cat napper which is driving me bonkers. He has never napped well, but I used to get at least two one hour long naps throughout the day. Now, I am lucky if he goes past 30 mins. I am having a hard time accepting this because I like structure. I like to plan my days around his naps and now I cant do that anymore.

Not only did Grayson find his thumb, but he has found his hands! I cant keep them out of his mouth!
He also scoots around so much at night, that many times he ends up screaming because he is stuck like this:
Grayson is full of laughs and giggles. One of these days I am going to get it on video and learn how to upload them onto to blogger.


Now for some mommy nevers:

I never thought I would want to be a stay at home mom. Even in that first month with Grayson, I didnt think I would want to stay at home doing the same thing every day, but now I do. I love spending my days with my little man and I cant imagine being away from him for the whole day. I love every smile, laugh and cry from him and I cant stand to miss those.

I never thought I would be a mom who would join a baby bootcamp class. We workout at the mall with the babies in the stroller. It makes sense though. If the husband is away at work all day, how am I going to get a workout in if he is too small for daycare at the gym. By the way, the workouts are tough. Its time to kick my workout and eating healthy up a notch now that the sister's wedding is 20 days away.

Now for the biggest ''never" shocker, I never thought I would be this obsessed with his poop!!! I get so excited and scream with joy when he poops. They are huge blowouts too. He had been a pretty consistent pooper with one exception during his very first week at home that required a visit to the doctor. Two weeks ago, he went 2 days without pooping and then ELEVEN WHOLE DAYS without pooping. We tried everything....karo syrup, pear juice, apple plum juice, qtips and themometers up his you know where and nothing worked. Finally we just let nature take its course and after 11 days, he had a HUGE BLOWOUT. Then he went 5 days. I hope he gets a little more consistent. These blowouts are hard to manage when you are out in public or when you're about to walk out the door.

Bottle strike

Dear Grayson

Please end the strike and resume all bottle feeding. I promise it will make both our lives a lot easier.

Love
Mom


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2 months

Grayson turned two months last Friday. How did 62 days go by so fast? I feel like it was just yesterday, Adam and I were driving to the hospital. I still remember the nerves and excitement I was feeling that night. Grayson is a pretty happy baby except when he is hungry or tired. Some days he naps well and some days he doesnt like to nap. He's also decided that he doesnt want to nurse continuously or take a bottle so it makes feedings a little bit difficult. I hope this is just a phase and that it will pass...SOON! I love, LOVE his smiles and laughs. At his 2 month check up, he was a whopping 13 lbs 4 oz and 23.5 inches. Not sure how I am going to carry him anymore in the car seat. He is so alert now! Looking forward to all the new adventures this month is going to bring.

First church visit:

Zumba

I use to think Zumba was silly. That is until yesterday. I was looking for a class to ease back into working out and they were only offering Zumba Labor day morning. As soon as the instructor turned on the music, I knew I was in the right place. It was like I had walked in a dance party. It was good for this new mommy's soul. It was exactly what I needed. Where else can you find people of all ages (the oldest I swear was a man who was at least in his late 60s) getting down and shakin' it diiiirty? The old man, got down and dirty on the floor. Gross, yet humorous. The class was packed so I was stuck in the back making up my own moves half the time. Before I go back, I am going to YouTube some videos and learn the steps and maybe take a couple of shots to loosen up. Its been awhile since those bootay shakin' days.

In baby news, I have been fighting the pacifier and thumb sucking for awhile now. Once I found this video, I gave in. Here is Grayson, at the hospital still, sucking on his thumb. Edit that, I dont know how to upload videos here. I tried, but FAILED.

Here he is 8 weeks later:
Once last picture. This is currently my favorite picture of him:

Things I Wish I Would Have Known

There are no less than ten parenting books lying around the house. Some I have read three or four times already, some I havent even touched. We also took a baby basics class at the hospital and I took a breastfeeding class during my hospital stay. I wish someone had mentioned some of these things:

I wish someone would have told me about the "baby blues". Not quite postpartum depression, but I had such a hard time dealing with the first couple of weeks. I cried everyday for about 3 weeks. I cried because he cried...ALL.THE.TIME. I cried because I was stressed. I cried because I missed life before baby. I cried because I thought I would love being a mommy right away, but I didnt. I cried because I loved him so much. I cried because Adam and I were getting into these little disagreements. I cried because I read a sad story, watched a sad tv show. I just cried at everything. I cried because I felt bad about all the things I just mentioned. It took me awhile to realize that it was okay to cry. At my six week check up, my doctor told me about 50% of women experience the baby blues.

Everyone says boys are easier than girls, but I think they mean when they are older. As one of the nurses put it, "boys are greedier than girls" when its comes to food. I had heard stories about parents having to wake their girls to eat. That was not the case with Grayson. He wanted to eat all the time.

Everyone also tells you hard it is the first two weeks, but I wished they would have emphasized the word HARD.

As natural as breastfeeding may be, I wish someone would have told me it may not come to you naturally. From no supply to over supply, rapid let down, engorgement, I cant tell you how many times I called the lactation consultants including one late night call during after hours. Almost 7 weeks later and I'm still not confident about breastfeeding.

I wish while they were teaching about swaddling they would have mentioned that your baby may not like to be swaddled. Here I am thinking all babies like to be swaddled and I have the one child that doesnt. He fought the swaddle from the beginning.

Finally, I wish someone would show me how to grocery shop with a car seat. Not sure this guy was too happy about his surroundings:
A few more newborn pics:

Milestones

In all the baby books and websites, they talk about milestones. What about mommy milestones?
I had my 6 week postpartum checkup today and everything looked good. Another mommy milestone, I nursed for the first time in public, with a cover of course. I should have practiced at home first because I was all over the place with the cover and I'm pretty sure Grayson didnt get a nice, full feeding. Pretty embarrassing, since another girl came and sat down and nursed her son in half the time it took me. Oh, and in between sides, the little one decided to poop all over himself and me. One last milestone, I realized I need to let go of all the parenting book advice I've been reading and googling and just focus on Grayson. Not all babies are going to go by the books and I just need to do what I think is best for him.

Enough about me, lets get to the cutie. Here is Grayson doing some tummy time. This was taken about 1 min before he realized how hard it was and started wailing:

Tummy time is the perfect transition into a nap because it wears him out and after some crying, he just passes out. I've been letting him CIO for naps, but Monday night, was the first night Adam and I actually let him cry it out for bedtime and boy, it was the hardest thing ever. In the past, we've let him cry and then eventually we'd break down and go pick him up. We decided to let him CIO for night time because the paci game was getting old. He would spit it out constantly and start crying so we'd have to go in about every 2 mins to stick that thing back in his mouth. So Monday night, he cried for about 1.5 hrs. Not the entire time. He'd cry about 20 mins, then slept some, then woke up and cried 20 more mins and then slept some more. We'd tried to go in and soothe him without picking him up, but nothing worked. The next night, I told Adam I couldnt take it anymore and we set a timer for 15 mins. Before that 15 mins was up, he was out. But he did wake up once and cried for about 10 mins and then he was out for good. The third night, we put him down and not a peep. We watched the video monitor like a hawk. He was awake for about an hour just looking around and finally fell asleep. Last night, I fed him, bathed him and before I could finish our bedtime story, he started wailing. I finished the story (with him crying in the background), stuck the paci in his mouth and left. I watched him on the monitor, just waiting for him to cry. He did spit out the paci, but no tears. Then he passed out. I am hoping this is a trend.

I go back and forth on the crying it out. Some books I've read said letting them CIO can emotionally damage them when they are this young and other books say its ok. Thats why I've stopped reading all books. I figure the younger they are, the less they will remember. When he is crying, I always ask Adam, "do you think he is going to remember this?". Sometimes, I feel like the worst mom in the entire world for letting him cry bloody murder. So when he is awake, I shower him with lots and lots of love. I think I am attached to him more than he is attached to me.

Here he is waking up. He's wrapped in what they call the "miracle blanket". Supposedly, they sleep longer. I'm still waiting for that miracle. Look at those cheeks and that double chin!!!!

Happy 1 month Grayson!

I cant believe it's already been a month! This little guy is becoming a chunky monkey. At a month he is 22 inches and 10.5 lbs! We went to the doctor yesterday and for the first time, he didnt cry! Since we've been doing the eat/play/sleep routine and added the paci, we've cut the crying down quite a bit. He still cries when I put him on his tummy, but then falls asleep soundly. He also cries during his "witching"/fussy hour which is usually around 8pm EVERY SINGLE DAY. This is the only time we'll pick him up and hold him and put him to sleep. He is eating about every 3-4 hours. He still doesnt like to be swaddled and he still doesnt look the least bit Asian. I am hoping those traits come in soon.

This little guy melts my heart.

Here is a picture from his newborn (2 weeks) photo shoot:



Can you believe how tiny he was????